Barkada. These are your close friends. And by close, I mean really close. You spend a lot of time with them, you usually talk to them, making more memories and having fun together. They can be your best friends! You know each other like the back of your hands. But as you spend time with them, developing deeper feelings for your barkada is inevitable. It happens. Trust me. Having these feelings for your barkada is kind of awkward. Not in an awkward way but you know what I mean. You two are really close friends and you are torn between confessing your feelings or just keeping them up to yourself. Which leads us to the question, is it okay to date someone in your barkada?
First, let’s identify its pros and cons.
The pros of dating your barkada
Dating someone you’ve only been best friends or close with until now may not be an easy task, but the following pros may just make taking the risk worth it.
1. They are familiar with your bad side.
We all have a dark side and having someone who knows you and someone who’s close to you means that he/she knows how you play whenever you are getting moody, jealous, or angry for no reason. Plus, he/she knows your weaknesses, but and they will know how to respond to them in a way that is constructive to the relationship. On that same note, you’ll be aware of their corny jokes or quirks and as a friend, you already tolerated and accepted all of it and wouldn’t find it annoying!
2. You’ve already developed a strong emotional bond.
You’ve already developed a strong emotional bond that forms a foundation of any successful relationship. Having been best friends, you will have already laid that foundation, and you’ll have loyalty and respect. Therefore, your relationship has a much greater chance of being a successful one.
3. There won’t be any unpleasant surprises.
There’s nothing more awkward – or in some cases, upsetting – than discussing your partner’s love life history. But, you’ve most likely had that discussion with your barkada, for sure, without the implications of being in a relationship. In fact, you may have even met some of their exes! You know what happened with their previous relationship issues and you’re likely to know most of this already so there’s nothing to be surprised of.
4. You already passed the awkward stuff.
The first few months of any relationship contains exciting moments and awkwardness. You’ve got to work out their likes and dislikes, and there are the friends and the family to meet. The good news about dating your barkada is that the awkwardness has already been dealt with, and you can simply enjoy the excitement of taking your relationship to the next level. Easy, right?
5. You’ve been through it all together.
Since the you’re in the same barkada it means that you already shared history. Maybe you graduated from the same school together or have attended family celebrations with them. Having shared important moments in each other’s lives, your connection will be stronger, and even more likely to last.
6. No awkward silences.
There’s nothing worse than starting a relationship with someone you like, only to find out that you don’t have anything to talk about or nothing in common. The plus side of dating your barkada is that you will almost definitely have shared interests. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be friends! So, there’s always something to talk about!
The cons of dating your barkada
Before you confess your feelings to your barkada or taking the relationship to the next level, take a moment to consider the following drawbacks.
1. Are you willing to make the sacrifice?
It’s always the number one concern when anyone considers dating a best friend. What if it doesn’t last? If you break up, you might have to accept that your friendship might be lost forever. All you have to decide is whether sacrificing your friendship is a risk that you are willing to take. Remember that love requires sacrifices. Always.
2. The feeling might not be mutual.
If you’ve developed feelings for your barkada, there is always a chance that the feeling isn’t mutual, and perhaps their behavior towards you would change. If you decide to confess your feelings, prepare yourself for the worst, and accept that things might be awkward between you and your barkada for a while if things don’t go your way. Decide in advance what your plans might be if your friend does not reciprocate: can you continue being friends with that person? Could you take it if they dated someone else?
3. It’s going to be a “go hard or go home” situation.
When taking your relationship to the next level, it’s important to consider if you want a casual or long-term relationship and whether you both agree. But remember that a casual relationship probably isn’t worth risking your friendship for.
4. Think about your other barkadas as well.
It’s also important to consider who else will be affected if the relationship doesn’t go according to plan. Especially if you are a part of a larger circle of friends. They could feel pressured to take sides if a breakup occurs. You might risk sacrificing not only your own friendship but your friends as well.
To answer my question, for me, there are risks involved with confessing romantic feelings to your best friend and with taking your relationship to the next level, but I think it is worth remembering that the greatest and most successful relationships often grow from great friendships, and it might just be the best decision you’ll ever make. Having a relationship with a strong foundation of love and friendship often ends up to be a successful one.
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